Hiatus

Fern and Sprout drink milk with meals, otherwise, we are a water-only household.  The main exception is when the kids get the flu and we give them Gatorade.  The kids love Gatorade.

When Sprout was about four and a half, he was trying to convince me to give him some. 

"Poppa, can I have Gatorade?"

"Are you sick?"

"No..."

"Then why should I give you any?"

"Because...I think I don't have any electric lights in me."

Mortgages

When I was in grad school, an old friend of mine transferred up from San Diego State.  We didn't have classes together, but we hung out: tennis, golf, cards, that kind of thing.  For some reason, I didn't see his place until well into the school year.  When I finally did see the apartment, it was pretty typical for a single, male student in a rent controlled university town.  Dark, dingy, ugly carpet, holes in the walls.  I was used to all that.  However, when I went to use his bathroom, even I was shocked.

The entire toilet bowl was covered in a thick layer of black mold.  And not just the bowl.  It was all over the underside of the toilet seat, behind the seat, and even on the base.  The bathtub?  Just as bad.  Black and orange mold on the tub, on the walls, on the glass doors.  Everywhere.

I had to ask.

"Hey, Nick!  What's up with your bathroom?  It's disgusting!!"

Nick held up his hands and immediately defended himself.

"Whoa, don't blame me!  It was that way when I moved in."