High Priced Experiences

Okay, so get this.  The Rome Cavalieri (a Waldorf-Astoria hotel) has created a million dollar wedding package that actually costs a million dollars.  Here's what you get:

"...a private jet to Rome, the palatial Penthouse Suite with panoramic roof terrace and 'his and her' monogrammed linens, as well as a horse-drawn carriage...Brides are afforded the opportunity to borrow jewellery designed by Italian Princesses Lucia Odescalchi and Grazia Borghese!"

Yep, that's right.  They are so excited by the princesses that they actually use an exclamation mark.

"For the guests, there is accommodation on our exclusive Imperial Floors with personal butler service...For the reception there is a wedding lunch with the signature of our three star Michelin Chef Heinz Beck...The day reaches a climax with a fireworks display and balloon release from the Rome Cavalieri hotel's roof."

And why would you want all this?  This appears to be their explanation:

"Every detail of the big day is arranged to make this the most memorable and spectacular celebration...Our team is committed to making [your wedding] day special."

So, wait.  They really get people to spend a million dollars to make their wedding day memorable and special?  In other words, GETTING MARRIED, declaring your undying love and commitment to another person for the rest of your life, somehow isn't memorable and special enough in itself?
 

---

"Hooboy, I'm beat."

Oh, hey there Slash.  Working hard?

"You know it.  Busier than ever.  Boy, do I need a vacation."

I'm sorry to hear that.

"Fuhgeddaboudit.  Hey, I've already bought my Ibiza vacation package.  Come June, Cutter and I will be relaxing in a hammock drinking Mai Tais.  Can't wait."

Oh.  You know, I was under the impression that place was more of a party island.  You know, night life, clubbing, crowds.  That doesn't exactly sound like your cup of tea.

"Well, if you must know, it's not exactly what I'm into, Dillweed.  But half my co-workers have already been there.  I don't want to be the last one to experience it.  Everybody's talking about it."

So what is this race with the Jones' setting you back?

"Now don't go putting it that way, Dullwit.  Maybe it cost me several grand, and yes, that means I will have to work longer if that's where you're going, but it's worth it.  Not everyone wants to live in a trench, eating compost.  Some of us like to live a little, Dirtworm."

Do you ever run out of names for me?

"You blog.  I insult.  Suum cuique."

Anyway, I don't mean to judge.  It just seems like your motiva..

"Naw, naw, naw.  Listen, Dankwart.  You're always spewing on and on about happiness and then you dig up some obscure research to back up your trite little point.  Well, I've done some reading, myself.  And it turns out, the expert opinion is that stuff doesn't bring happiness (so I'll give you that one), but experiences do bring happiness.  So all I'm doing is buying me some happiness, here."

Okay, so I won't argue that experiences can lead to greater happiness..

"I accept your apology."

..but there are ways to accumulate good experiences without breaking the bank.

"Oh, please.  Here we go."

Several years ago, I was walking down to lunch with a colleague when he mentioned his "bucket list."  I had never heard of bucket lists, so I asked him what it was.
 

"It's a list of the things you absolutely want to make sure you do before you die."

That concept appealed to me right way.  It fit so naturally with my personality.

1. It's a list.  (Lists just ooze organization.)

2. It's intentional.

So I thought, by golly, I'm going to come up with my own list.  And later that evening, I sat down to create my bucket list.

"So let's see it."

Okay, so here it is:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

"I think you lost it in the cloud, Datawaste."

Nope, that's the list, Slash.  See, I couldn't come up with a single thing.  I realized that I am doing and experiencing exactly what I want out of life.  All these fancy cruises and safaris and extreme vacations and dining at five star Michelin restaurants are entertaining, but nothing more than that.  They have no importance to me.

(Yes, there are things that I am interested in doing like learning to play the guitar, writing a song, exercising more, studying history, etc.  But even then, if I never got around to them?  Meh.)

"Aaaaarrrgh!  You are such a wet blanket, Dimwatt!  What is so wrong with having a little fun?"

Nothing.  I'm just saying that too often we fall into the trap of working our butts off so we can pay for a lifestyle and a mortgage that stresses us, and stretches our checkbooks, to the breaking point.  So, we end up buying these big ol' vacations and other expensive experiences to have something to look forward to doing, and perhaps, to vainly attempt to fill an empty void that we might feel.
 

"Empty void?"

Well, I know for me, when I was in college, there would come a point when I was working so hard for so long, I no longer even felt I existed anymore.  Like I somehow lost all sense of my own humanity.  It was very unfulfilling.
 

("Uh...hey, Deadwood.  I'm, uh...kind of uncomfortable with this touchy-feely stuff.")

(You and me both.  I'll try to be quick.)

So there's nothing wrong with the occasional expensive vacation.  But if you find that you really need one every year, it may not, in fact, be what you really need.  Instead of getting caught in this vicious cycle of earning, spending, earning, spending, maybe it would be better to work less, (even, perhaps, downscaling your career to do so) and find your humanity and enjoyment in more modest and everyday experiences.

"I was with you until you started talking about more modest and everyday experiences.  What do you mean?"

 
Well, by "modest" I mean that there is often an inverse relationship between the quality of the experience and the amount of money spent.  A friend of mine spent a week on a solo bike ride down the entire coast of Oregon this past summer.  He ate sandwiches he bought at grocery stores along the way.   He stayed overnight at campgrounds where he met great people from all over the world, saw the most beautiful scenery the west coast has to offer, and got into really great shape.  He said it was one of the best experiences of his entire life: nature, freedom, simplicity, community, activity, travel, accomplishment.  How much did it all cost?  About $200.

But you don't even have to go on vacation or spend anything at all.  Great experiences are around us all the time.  This past summer, I was watching Fern's All-Star baseball team in the district playoffs.  The game went into extra innings.  Fern was on the mound.  Tie score.  Bases loaded.  Two outs.  Full count.  I was so excited, I was jumping up and down (to Rooty's great embarrassment).  So Fern rears back, we all hold our breathe, and he fires one on the outside edge for a called third strike to retire the side.  We went on to win the game in the bottom of that same inning.  It just doesn't get any better than that.  It's a moment I will never forget.  Parents who work all the time miss out on things like that.

"What if your kids aren't into sports?  Where's the excitement then?"

Everywhere, Slash!  For instance, Sprout had planted a kernel of corn in Kindergarten last spring.  When it sprouted, he brought it home and we transferred it to our backyard.  We didn't expect much.  But after visiting his grandparents for a week last summer, he ran to the backyard to see how much it had grown in our absence.  It had shot up almost a foot and a half, sprouted a tassle, and even had a small ear of corn!  He was so excited, he was laughing and dancing and jumping all around in an expression of pure joy and wonder.  It doesn't get better than that, either.

"Okay, that's pretty neat.  But exciting things like that don't happen every day.  So then what?"

Just open your eyes.  I personally don't think the best experiences are necessarily about excitement anyway, Slash.  The best experiences are often hidden in the mundane.  Sometimes they are the mundane.  A few years ago, Rooty's uncle lost his wife of over fifty years.  They had been through everything together.  All the highs and all the lows that life could throw at them.  And he missed her terribly.  He was never the same after she passed away.  But you know what he told Rooty he missed the most?  Sitting on the couch, holding his wife's hand as they watched television together.

I guess what I'm saying, Slash, is don't waste your money.  The best experiences in life aren't for sale.  They are floating all about us just waiting to be appreciated.  Doesn't cost anything but a little mindfulness.

Slow down and discover.

"Hello, Mrs. Lemaze!  I'm Nurse Petocin.  I am going to induce labor in just a few minutes.  But first, Dr. Forceps and I would like to discuss a couple of options with you.  You can go ahead with the delivery as is.  (I guess...)  Or, you can opt for our spectacular baby-palooza plan!  This unique and memorable package comes with gold plated stirrups, Hermès beaded pillows for your lower back, Burberry cashmere infant blankets, professional videography by award winning director Robert Rodriguez, and get this...James Franco standing in for your husband!  ...You do want to make this day special, don't you?"