Intentional Time

I was an engineering major.  Hated it.  To avoid dying of complete boredom, I took a couple of philosophy electives.  Lots of words in philosophy.  Lots of big words in philosophy.  And soooo esoteric.  But I did manage to take away a few really deep and powerful concepts:

1. You don't lead an intentional life until you come to terms with your own death. 
2. In general, female philosophy students are better looking than their engineering counterparts. 
3. But then again, they don't shave their armpits. 
4. Still, why should I complain about that?  It's not like they talk to me, anyway.

I paid good money for my education.
 

"Um..Mr. Deadwood..I think I get most of that.  But why is that first thingy about an intentional life such a big deal to you?"

Oh, hi Holly!  Excellent question, I am glad you asked.  To answer, I'll share some personal background.  All the way through college, I strove to excel.  I was competitive to a fault and always wanted to be the top of my class.  While my classmates used Spring Break to blow off steam and relax, I studied.  I saw it as an opportunity to get ahead.  So I worked myself very, very hard.  It got so bad that when I headed back to school after a holiday, my mom would tell me, "Okay, well...don't work too hard.  Try to have some fun."  I mean, seriously, whose mom says that?

So I had a lot of drive.  But I wasn't very happy.  One day, my philosophy professor said something in my Existentialism class that really resonated.  Specifically, he said that "first thingy."

You don't lead an intentional life until you come to terms with your own death.

That totally woke me up.  It motivated me to figure out what was really important to me and how I should spend my time.  (Later, Rooty would help me course correct, as you may recall from previous posts.)
 

"No offense, Mr. Deadwood, but like, I'm not a neurotic geek like you were.  I'm totally loving high school.  I mean, I'm popular.  So, I don't need to like, re-examine my life or anything."

Perhaps not.  But I personally think that no matter how well things seem to be going, it's always a good idea to determine your motivations and priorities.  Death is inevitable.  Are you being intentional with the limited time you have?  Or have you simply adopted societal expectations that end up driving how you spend your time?

"Um, like...huh?"

An analogy may help: I graduated from a very large and impersonal university.  And back then, there was no such thing as the world wide web, so information processing and disseminating was really slow.  As a result, the beginning of the school year was always a chaotic dog-eat-dog mess with crazy long lines everywhere you went.  Students stood in line to sign up for their classes, to get their student ID cards, to buy football tickets, to buy textbooks, you name it.  As a freshman, I didn't have a clue what was going on.  But it got to the point that when I saw a line, I just hurried to the end of it and waited my turn, hoping they didn't run out of whatever they had before I got to the front.  I didn't know why I was in line, but everyone else was in it, so I figured I needed to be, too. 

 "(Giggling)...I'm sorry, Mr. Deadwood, but that's so pathetic."

No apology necessary.  I agree.  And that's kind of a microcosm of how we often lead our lives: everyone else is doing something, striving for something, buying something, so we just accept it as the way to go.  Sometimes we'll ask ourselves why.  Most of the time we won't.  We just adopt these things as our expectations for ourselves.

"But maybe everyone is right.  So like, what's wrong with that?"

Well, it's not necessarily wrong.  But here is what can happen: We graduate from college with that bachelor's degree or MD or JD or MBA.  As soon as we land that prestigious position, we go out and buy ourselves a shiny, new sports car as a reward to ourselves.  And buy a cool flat panel TV.  And a condo.  And we're working ourselves to the bone, striving for that promotion because the mortgage and car payments are pretty overwhelming, especially with that student loan weighing on us.  Pretty soon, we we want to start a family, so we buy a big ol' house with granite counter tops and a bonus room, in a great school district, with a three car garage, backing to a greenbelt.  And why shouldn't we?  Our friends, relatives and coworkers have it all, we deserve it, too.

Unfortunately, to "have it all," we are stressed out, maxed out, multitasking, eating poorly, sleeping little, and feeling miserable and trapped.  And new expenses just keep popping up.  We need to remodel our kitchen.  And buy a trendy, hybrid SUV.  And fund our kids' college education.  And we wonder why we just can't seem to get ahead.  So we have to keep working, and we have to keep striving.  And we stress about getting laid off because we're just a few missed paychecks from bankruptcy.

"But I like nice things.  My parents got me used to it.  They worked hard for it, why shouldn't I?"

There is nothing wrong with working hard, per se.  Just don't get so financially stretched that you feel you need that raise or promotion.  The prestigious job, big house, new car, flat screen TV and luxury vacation won't really make you happy, Holly.  That's my guess, anyway.  Those things will be just a boat anchor around your neck.

Take all those company CEOs.  Talk about the pinnacle of success.  They are the big winners in their chosen field, having clawed their way to the very top.  But according to research, the large majority of them say they are unhappy and unfulfilled.  Like so many of us, all their striving leaves little time to enjoy any of life at all.

Enjoy your time.  Don't keep trading it for money.  Time is a non-renewable resource.

"So, you want me to live like a pauper?"

Ummm...no.  Just take the time to figure out what will truly make you happy.  It can be hard to do.  And it takes some courage.  But once you do, you probably will find it has nothing to do with prestige, money or being at the top of your [economic] class.

Remember, no one ever lay on their deathbed wishing they worked harder and longer. 

Be intentional.

Full Disclosure:  Okay, one female philosophy major actually did talk to me.  For like, a nanosecond.  It was the first day of my "Philosophy of Mind" class.  She was sitting at a desk just to my right.  Super cute.  Yes, her legs were kind of hairy, but she had a wispy, airy lightness to her that was really attractive.  I had to strike up a conversation.

"So...are you a philosophy major?"

"I am."

"That's so cool!  I'm in engineering, but I really like these philosophy classes.  (Okay...good start..now what do I say...hmmm...I'll just wing it)  So like, what do philosophy majors do after graduating?  What kind of job, I mean."

She suddenly lost that wispy, airy lightness that I had found so attractive.  How would I describe her...sullen.  She became sullen.

"We go to work for the government."

She never spoke to me again.  Still can't figure out what I said wrong.

I also can't figure out what the government does with all that philosophy knowledge.